One of Life’s Most Incredible Gifts
Hi again Mom!
I was just thinking about you and about how being mothered is one of life’s most incredible gifts. To be mothered by someone is to be heard, known, protected… at least, that was my experience of being mothered by you! Of course, you didn’t always get it right. Not a single one of us do. But I treasure all my memories with you, the big and small, fantastic and mundane.
The Heartbreaking Journey of Alzheimer’s and Dementia
The journey of Alzheimer’s and dementia is a heartbreaking one, for caregivers and the diagnosed individual alike.
At Mesa View Senior Assisted Living (and at our partner locations, Harbor View Senior Assisted Living and Bay View Assisted Living) we strive to provide compassionate, individualized care, preserving our residents’ dignity at every stage of their Alzheimer’s journey.
Continued below is a touching letter from a daughter to her mother as she watches her slowly slip away from Alzheimer’s.
You Didn’t Always Get it Right
Nothing makes you feel more humbled about parenting and mothering than becoming a parent yourself! In the days after Asia was born, I quickly learned how little I knew. I quickly learned that all of my plans, preparations, and products meant very little in the face of the exhaustion and highs and lows of those newborn days.
Do you remember how many questions I asked you around that time? You were so patient and present and I’ll never forget all of the ways you’ve supported my mothering throughout the years!
Wise Words on Mothering
Elizabeth Gilbert (renowned author of Eat, Pray, Love) shared these wise words about mothering. Since I’ve become a mother myself, I always think of you when I read them.
“Can we take a break – just for one day – and show some mercy to the mothers? Because being a mother is impossible. I don’t mean that it’s difficult. I mean: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. What we, as a culture, expect from our mothers is merely that they not be human…It’s a merciless standard of perfection. God help your mother if she ever fell short. God help your mother, if she was exhausted and overwhelmed. God help her if she didn’t understand her kids. God help her if she had no gift for raising children. God help her if she had desires and longings. God help her if life disappointed her….God help her, because if she [messed] up in any way, she will be forever branded: BAD MOTHER. And we will never forgive her for this.”
Memories Slipping Away
I know your memory of my childhood is slipping away. Your eyes get a little glazed over sometimes and that look of confusion when we talk about the past still gets me every time. You will always be you in my memories, Mom. I hold those moments and fragments so close these days when things with your health feel so uncertain.
I’m so glad that you’re enjoying life in your memory care community. Asia and I are planning to visit you this weekend after we have lunch in downtown San Diego. I’m so thankful that the staff reads these letters to you. Though your responses are getting more scarce, I’m so thankful they help you write back.
Holding onto every memory of you,
We Strive to Provide Individualized, Compassionate Memory Care in San Diego At Mesa View Senior Assisted Living (and at our partner locations: Harbor View Senior Assisted Living and Bay View Assisted Living) our compassionate, highly competent staff work hard to provide individualized care to each member of our memory care communities.